WARNING! You may come across errors of the following kind: gramatical; spelling;
punctuation; beyond the realms of possibility; complete jibberish. Do not panic.
All these and more are intentional, although many ('though probably not all)
will magically disappear during the course of the week.
How I longed that morning to hear the distant church' bells summoning peal as I
leapt out of bed and into my second favourite frock.Had I known for certain that he was
to have been there.. But there is no certainty in this life, I knew that as did my poor
Mama, fated to be alone for several hours on Sundays but for Cook and Dotty the
scullery maid whom we quite wickedly refused to call Dorothy, even knowing the girl
prefered the longer name, since Papa insisted it more fitting. (The solitude was truly at
Mamas own insistance, due I am sure to her never having taken to the new Minister's
It shames me to confess that even Mama's poor health did little to dampen my spirits,
as when time finally came for Papa and my three sisters to walk the two short miles to
church, against my many attemps to control them, I could not restain my legs and skipped
like a small unschooled child or a spring lamb cavorting with it's wooly play-mates in a
farmers field, ignorant of the origin of it's master's delight in looking on. Doing What? What the hell is going on here? HELP! WILL SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!
It took me a while after waking to reassure myself that Sunday's nighmare was gone and
that On Reflection had returned for good. I understood the lesson, if that was what it was:
a writers variation on 'use it or lose it', 'though I was still smarting at the calibre of
script chosen, it being so blatantly inferior in every way to that for which it was a
substitute. Unnecessarily hurtful, don't you agree? It was time to move on.
In my hall I'd had a charity bag sitting on top of a large empty box that my new (-ish)
vacuum cleaner came in, giving me the opportunity to recycle items of clothing that
I'd previously bought from charity shops (or elsewhere) but never worn/were too fat
for/hated in the light of day/thought would look better on someone else, etc. and so not
only could I do some good but also make space in my wardrobes for even more
unsuitable purchaces. But nothing is as simple as it sounds, is it? Both the giving part, and
the uncumbering... that isn't a word is it?... and the reducingof the quantity of clothing
packed tightly together, is very gratifying. The unpleasant part is in knowing that you are
too flabby for nearly all of the items that you really like, and will almost certainly remain
so. However, of those you dislike shop lighting and poor eyesight are frequently to blame
..... still leaving room for at least a degree of (temporary) lack of taste. Damn.
Last week I ordered a nice new Android. Not just because of the image that it conjured
up, of a 1980's style humanoid(were they sci-fi or real?), but because I needed/wanted
a tablet so that I could use to read e-books, to take on train journeys (I found last year
that although I'm not great at mobilising under my own steam or comfortably most
other ways, trains +1 are superb), I also needed/wanted - well, wanted one because
they really are very cool gadgets. I don't usually use the word 'cool', but I think that
when applied to Androids it really is okay. So, when the package finally arrived on Tuesday
my excitement was growing at what would have seemed to an onlooker, I think, at a
rather undignified rate. That is, until I removed the New Android (as the advert stated)
from it's box, and found instead a scratched and battered poor relation of the gizmo
whose photo I had giggled stupidly over during the waiting days, full of happy
anticipation. Later, all that was left to do was to send and recieve emails and
photographs describing my sadness and hearing excuses that made no sense, until
feedback and negotiations were mentioned and a refund was offered and I agreed.
For much of Wednesday I was grinning strangely into my monitor and making odd
chuckling sounds that would have had even my few close friends taking slow steps
backwards, had they been around at the time.
Actually, as you may well have guessed, I'm exaggerating. Wednesday only saw me
having a very normal reaction to an exciting piece of world news - and in an attempt to
lighten the tone, add a little humour even, I was being a bit of a tease. Sorry about that.
Back to the news item: Higgs-Boson. Need I say more? Without wanting to embelish too
much I'll just say that I was even happier and more absorbed in the vast information on
offer than I was by that original Android idea by far.The significances of the two are of
course beyond comparisonexcept that they both had the capacity to make me
extremely happy and both, in different ways, upset me. Sort of. I won't go on about
the Andr..Tablet again - I'm over it. Once I had taken in as much as my brain could absorb
in one sitting, I went on to Twitter and searched #Higgs-Boson to see what other
non-scientific folk were making of the phenomenon. Now before I go any further, let
me reassure you that even though you may well may joined in that discussion on
that day, your Tweets were not apparent during the time about which I am about to talk.
This is definitely NOT about you. Well, I could hardly believe my eyes - people were
missing the point completely - it was maddening. People argued about the meaning of
its slang name 'the god particle' as if the whole scientific process had been for nothing
more than a basis for a theological debate on what the particle that may or may not be
found is commonly called.... it was so frustrating!
I realised that perhaps I should try not to take it to heart quite so much when I heard
myself having a school-marm-ish, one sided conversation with a series of Tweeters on
my moniter - not in my head, but aloud - quiet loudly ... oh hell.
Ugh, Ugh, Ugh.How I hate hospital appointments .. or any doctors appointments .. or almost
anyappointments these days, To be honest.
Thursday's app. was with the Opthamologist and a very kind friend of mine drove me
there. Usually I have to wait for several hours, the tedium only broken by this test or
that test before being sent back to wait for the Main-Man to call me into his chamber.
Not so this time. Quick standard eye test almost as soon as I wobbled in (A on first line, try
to read or at least guess another two or three lines), found out that whoever filled out the form from my last visit had omitted to sign me up for a field test (for testing
peripheral vision), so pleadedwith the nurse (successfully) not to have it amended.Which
just left theConsultant, who called me in less than 45mins later.
My intention before leaving home was to cancel any future appointments as they served
no real purpose, other than observing and note taking. As with all of the clinics, I have
been told very clearly and honestly from the start that there is nothing that they can do.
With this is mind as he shone the ultra bright light in each eye, silently practicing the best
way to put my opting out without sounding rude or ungrateful, the kindly Consultant ask
me: " Have you ever been blind?" I shook my head in dumb suprise and I'm sure he was about
to ask me if I was certain but thought better of it. "What about steroids?". He had my
case history and knew the answer was no, but instead of haggling over future attendance or
non attendance of his clinic, I wish I had put on my most forlorn face and shared with him
a story of regret, how I should soon be warming up for the Olympics if not for that one
stupid mistake..one single dose of steroids... (Or, at the very least , question his question....).
As it was, I was given absence of leave for 9 months with an option of next day return should
I so so inclined.
Did some 'proper' writing in the morning, which felt very satisfying - but as soon as
I acknowledged that, my concentration was gone.The best I could do was get started
with this. It's still writing I know, but not grown-up writing .. you know what I mean,
don't you? I finished Monday and that was enough. A few light chores, a daughterly
visit and the rest of the day was spent propped in front of the TV, as befitting the
indolent heap I all too easilly turned into.
I got up relatively early this morning, about 06.45, partly to get on with this but
mostly because I had to be at the hairdressers at 10.30 - which meant that I would have
less time for this today..so it was entirely to get on with this. I had my hair cut, and as
always it feels so much better (probably because I always leave it too long before going),
did a bit of shopping in the local stores and got a taxi back. The evidence of the rest of the
day will be in the reading as soon as I have it in a vaguely presentable state. (Please don't argue).
Hope you have a good week, Michele Burnett x (to read previous Catch-Ups, click on a link below)