www.theimpossibledream.org.ukAs I Recall.. 17.11.2012
There is a side to insomnia that is rarely spoken of, the kinder side that
shows itself too rarely but when in attendance brings with it the freedom
from mental clutter only one experiencing a wakefull night can comprehend;
when loftier subjects of a philosophical nature can be contemplated and, on
therarest of occasions solved. It happened one night not so very long ago that
due to the scantest sleep my brain and body allowed me, I was afforded the
chance to confront such a puzzle and, at risk of being thought boastful, I must
admit to a arriving at several conclusions that I have still to date been unable
to find referenced anywhere else on the internet or in hardcopy.
For those of you who have still to read- Entiti Inanimatum -it is the
summary articleof my findings published two months ago in a journal little
known outside seriousscientific circles until September this year, entitled - Today’s Science for Tomorrow's Scientist - . Normally the writers and the authors
of the published papers,along with the scientists referred to in this journal are
all well established physicists, chemists, anthropologists, biologists and so on,
whose intention is to inform generations of scientists far into the futureexactly
where they were in their thinking and experimentation at the time of their writing.
Very occasionally the journal accepts papers written by mere mortals, which was
how my piece had the honour of being printed alongside those penned by or on
behalf of such incredible men and women. It was very fortunate for me, although
I didn't know it then, that as an outsider to the hallowed circle the strict
expectations,even regarding basic presentation, were greatly relaxed.
I laid out my reasoning in graphs and charts and technical words, some of which
I could hardly pronounceand the conclusion that I had identified the two Primary
subgroups of Homo sapiens. I also demonstrated the distinctions between them
following on with more persuasive (mostly, but not entirely numerical-) data
determining that in all probability this was the much searched forPrimary Homo
Genera and, how all other known genera of human origin can now be traced directly
back to either one of the these first or second genus. In retrospect, the overall results
to my nocturnal cogitations are hardly surprising as we spend our childhood having
rules of behaviour drilled into us, the first half of our adult lives drilling those same
rules into our children and the latter half of our lives denouncing the manner in which
our children and our children's children disregard those rules. Why then should we
be frowned upon or worse for our tiny eccentricities? Of course we should not be
frowned upon at all. As with all human qualities, earthly attributes can lead to
problems when combined with extreme behaviour or advantage of by outside
It was during a rare evening spent with friends at one of their houses that two
previously unplanned events occurred. The first started after the first half-hour as an
effort by me to clear my mind of everything that I’d been working on, potentially
enabling me to go back to it freshly the next morning, but still ended in me trying to
behaviour-map to a quite rude degree in an attempt to mentally group my host and
her guests back into their basic forms. The second in retrospect was probably my
own fault for not paying enough attention, but having miraculously got so far with
such a small amount of work needed before I could complete and submit the report, I
found myself facing the premature conclusion not only of this project, but the end of
any future writing. Once my friends had caught me watching them, the game was
over. Forced to withdraw from my less than social game I allowed my soppier head
the chance of an airing. Who is it says “Your only one hazard away from an accident?”
Oh- yes it's me, with my paranoid head on. Well she’s right.
The home I was visiting had an enormous cat named Henry (or Henrie I suppose since
she was a ... she) and a tiny but increadibly overexcitable Yorkshire Terrier called
Yorky. They were very entertaining and, as long as they remained the center of our
general conversation and attentions. But, as soon as the snacks came out chaos
prevailed. Animals leapt on laps and on the table to steal what they could, humans
tripped to or from table to prevent what mischief they could.. humans cursed, animals
ran, humans explode into of laughter as they suddenly see how insane they must look.
As we chat a bit more about it before calling it a night I share with them some
anecdotes relating to the subject I was working on and, although they
probably weren’treally that interested where it did relate, it was quite funny. Then
without warning the hall door flew open and knocked me over, onto the table then to
the floor, just missing a tendon in my right wrist.
With consideration of the scant facts hitherto available and with careful
analysis of my own findings over the past 30 years, I now believe that
Homo sapiens (our most advanced life form on planet Earth, year 2012)
can be divided into
two distinct genera:
I.Those who apologise to inanimate objects II.Those that don't.
For detailed analysis of my findings read the full report.
Statistically, since you are HERE reading this document there is an 89.2%
chance that you belong to the first category.
Then finally the puzzle was solved and the report written. The last detail, an example
of extreme behaviour was found during the funny chaotic evening after the cursers
stopped cursing, the trippers and stubbers of toes stopped randomly apologising and
the pets had walked out in disgust and returned to to let us make it up to them. It was
the action of The Door in retaliation to my cohersed attempt at changing my genetic
profile. I have always been a prolific apologiser to anything that I bump into, think
I've bumped into or that has bumped into me and, due to increasing wobblyness my
sorry-saying has now risen to epic proportions.
Just seconds before the Doors spiteful action, encouraged by the friends that I was with
I loudly proclaimed, for all the house to hear that there would be '.. no contrition from
me for the next 24hrs! ' ...
Thank you once again for looking in and hope you have a lovely week. If you are interested in
reading previous weeks ramblings, please find links under the logo at top of page.